You're My Butter Half
by kuku88
Summary: Late birthday present for frannyfine29! Butch finds Buttercup drinking away in a bar, probably all grumpy (like 85% grumpy), and decides to have a little fun...but not in the way you'd imagine: he's got an onslaught of puns in his arsenal that he's just dying to try out. Fluff; rated K! Warning: mentions drinking.


_I've technically had this story for awhile now, and I felt like I should finally post it. I got this done around 10 days ago haha - according to ._

 _This is a birthday present for my amazingly awesomely super sweet friend_ **frannyfine29** _, whom I wish I could talk to more! I miss talking to you! I should probably check my PM's more often haha._

 _Sorry about how late this is! November's been a hard month for me. In an update, just gonna add that Franny shares the same birthday as my younger brother, haha - November 10~_

 ** _Happy (late) birthday~! :D_**

 ** _Hope you had a good oneeeeeeeeeeee! Be sure to have eaten a lot of cake!_**

 _Please read and enjoy~_

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"Another drink for the pretty little lady?" The bartender smiled, already pouring another drink.

The black-haired girl rolled her eyes, thumping her cup on the table. "Don't call me that, man. But yeah, another round, if you will."

"That's what I thought." He slid the drink over to her and she snatched it up, gulping it down.

As she drank, the door opened and a male with spiky black hair entered the bar. "Hello, world!" he shouted over the noise and the music. Some people glanced his way, but most people ignored him as he slid into the seat beside the girl. "Oh, hey Butterbabe." He grinned and folded his arms, leaning back in his chair.

"Don't call me that," she grumbled, "when will you men realize that a girl like me doesn't like nicknames?" Her eyes rolled toward him, but then they widened. _"Butch?"_

"Yeah," he said, holding back a smirk. "It's me, Butch. Yo, babe."

"What are _you_ doing here?" she demanded, awkwardly tightening her grip on her drink. She felt strangely embarrassed to be caught drinking, so she hid it with irritation in the form of an angry look.

Butch put his hands up. "Whoa, calm down, little lady."

"The name's Buttercup!" she exclaimed. "Remember it. I don't like nicknames, alright?"

"Sorry." He rolled his eyes, before smirking and leaning in. He rested his chin on his hand and raised an eyebrow. "But anyway, shouldn't _I_ be asking _you_ what _you're_ doing here instead of the other way around? The bar ain't exactly a good girl's hangout."

"I ain't exactly a good girl," she shot back.

"What if Blossom catches you though? You'd get an earful."

"She isn't that bad." Buttercup made a face. "Besides, nothing really matters anymore. I couldn't care less whether or not I get caught."

"Don't you mean" – here he paused smugly – "' _nothing really mattress'_ and _'I couldn't chair less'_?" He patted her seat, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "You know what I'm saying?"

"What? No!" She leaned back, looking grossed out. "Ugh, gross. That was awful."

"Hey, whoa! The hue-manatee, BC! How could you hurt me like that?" he exclaimed.

She did a face-palm, letting out a groan as she rested her forehead on her drink. "Butch, nooo…"

"I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know you wouldn't get a reaction," Butch responded, smirking.

Buttercup tilted her head back, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. "No."

"See? I wasn't wrong." He laughed. "So we do a lot of saving the day now, right? Well, recently in a battle there was a guy whose whole left side was cut off. Did you hear about him?"

"Uhh…no." She narrowed her eyes at him. "And I don't think such a guy exists. Don't tell me you're making another pun."

He didn't respond to her last statement, instead continuing: "Well, his whole left side might've been cut off, but he's all right now."

"Oh, really?" She raised an eyebrow, before pausing. "Wait. Omigod. YOU SUCK, BUTCH."

"Took you a second to get it, didn't you?" Butch chuckled. "Guess what else? I'm reading a book of anti-gravity…"

"No."

"And it's impossible to put down!" he finished cheerfully.

"Nooooooo," Buttercup groaned loudly, placing her face in her hands. "I hate you so much," she mumbled into her fingers.

"I love you too, babe."

"Don't call me babe."

"Right, right – no nicknames. Okay."

"Ugh, Butch – you need a new brain."

Butch grinned. "Do you really think that?"

"Oh no." She eyed him warily.

"I wasn't _going_ to get a brain transplant, but – well, _I changed my mind_ ," he told her cheerfully.

Buttercup stared at him for quite awhile, and slapped his face lightly. "You suck."

He burst out laughing again. "Don't hit me, Butters! That hurts. Haven't you ever heard of the guy who got hit in the head with a soda?"

She seemed to guess the answer because he thumped her head against the table and sighed. "Ugh."

"He was lucky it was a soft drink!" Butch exclaimed.

As Buttercup groaned again, the bartender came back and smiled, saying teasingly, "Hey, Butch-meister, you're really rubbing in those puns, huh?"

"Yeah, they seem to really annoy her," Butch chuckled.

"Oh, you dick," she shot back, shifting her head so that she could see him despite resting her head in her arms.

"Whoa, B-cup, let's keep it appropriate, shall we? Besides, I have way too many dick puns in my arsenal to choose one," he said teasingly.

Buttercup sighed a long, deep sigh. "Did I ever mention how much I hate you?"

"Yes. Plenty of times, already," Butch chuckled. "Well, this is hawkward. Admitting you hate someone really kills the conversation."

Buttercup paused. "Oh no you didn't."

"Oh yes I did." He leaned in even closer and smirked.

Buttercup glared at him, before pausing as she got an idea. She smirked back and leaned in closer too. She whispered, "Hey, Butch…"

"Yes?" he said, distracted by her emerald-green eyes. He could feel his heartbeat go a little faster, which surprised him.

"Well, you may be trying to annoy me with puns in general, but that bird pun was almost the last straw – that is, until I realized that _toucan_ play this game."

Butch blinked at her for a few moments, before his eyes widened and he straightened his back in surprise. "Oh, whoa! You made a pun!"

"Mm-hmm." She smiled, tilting her head to the side. "Can I consider this verbal assault?"

"Oh no, you can't." He bent down so that their eyes were at the same level. "That's because, babe, I'm just telling you puns."

"Oh yeah? Well, the last man that assaulted me got kicked in the ass."

"I don't disbelieve you. But I'm not assaulting you." He stuck his tongue out.

"Well, that last guy assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How dairy, don't you think?"

Butch smiled. "Oh wow, you're good."

Buttercup nodded and took another swig of her drink. "Ugh." She made a face. "When I drink too many I always feel sick."

He grinned. "I made that face yesterday when I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I'm fine, but I think I _dyed_ a little inside."

Buttercup looked ready to groan again, but instead she smiled. "Alright, Mr. Smarty Pants."

"So you don't hate puns anymore?" he teased.

"Well, I never really _hated_ them, but you were super annoying in the beginning. Right now though, I'm done being annoyed. Once you get past that annoyance, it's pretty funny I get."

Butch laughed. "I'll take what I can get."

"Who said you can't get more?" Buttercup raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly.

Butch raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well…I think we'd make a nice pear. I'm pretty nuts about you, since you seem to be my _butter_ half."

Buttercup raised an eyebrow.

"You've stolen a pizza my heart. All I knead is love, and let's taco about us, Butterbabe. I might tortellini be in love with you, 'cause you're a cutie pie and I love you a latte! Olive you so much it hurts."

"Wow, ignoring the fact that that was a giant pun, did you just confess to me?" Buttercup's eyebrow raised a little further.

Butch hesitated just briefly before nodding, his face kind of red. "So…uh, yeah – I like you a lot. Wanna be my girlfriend, Butters?"

"Sure." She smiled. "But cut back on the puns and nicknames, 'kay?"

"Okay, promise." He smirked. "Aaaaaaaand…we kiss now, right?"

"Yes." She laughed as he pulled her in closer and they shared a kiss. It was a hot kiss but it was more warm for the two new lovers than uncomfortably hot.

When they pulled apart, they were silent for a brief moment, exchanging green gazes.

Then Butch smirked and said, "That was a good kiss, B-cup. Mind if I kiss you again?"

She punched him, but couldn't help but smile. "Oh my God. If you keep that it, then no."

"Owl still kiss you anyway, B-cup." She poked him in the cheek, but he just laughed and pulled her in for that kiss. _"_ _You're my butter half."_

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 _Alright, there we go! Please go ahead and leave a reviewwwwwwwwwwww! :D_


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